Posted by: Blondie | 2008/12/10

Stuck and out of ideas

Hi Doc, I think I have the most wonderful bf and our fights have gotten alot less over the time that we have been together which is 2 years. There is of course the times when we are always going to fight and I accept that, the thing is that I feel that when something is upseting me that I would rather talk about it than leave it and let it develop into a fight. The bf however feels irritated when I try and talk to him about something or he simply tells me he doesnt have the time or enegery. He immediatley thinks I am trying to pick a fight when I am simply trying to talk and I cant carry on making an effort to give us a better relationship when he isnt interested. I really want this to work but I cant keep running after him, begging him to try and help me make it work. Is he just being a typical man, straying away from emotional talks or is he simply not interested?


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

TALKING about what upsets you is fine ; FIGHTING about it doesn't help much, does it ? Do these really have to be such episodes of high drama ? OK, he experiences your attempts to raise these topics as picking a fight --- maybe something in your manner or choice of words encourages him to think this ? COuld you pleasantly persuade him to join you for a couple of sessions of couples / relationship counselling ? Tell him you want to work with him to avoid such fights, and to learn better ways to discuss your wories with him, without upsetting him so much

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