Posted by: Not my usual nic | 2005/12/09

Still confused...

I just spoke to him and told him we must rather break up than cheat on each other (emotional cheating included). He denied being unfaithfull in any way and said because we havent been spending alot of time together lately he does feel like affection is lacking in the relationship. He said he loved me and dont mind speding hours sorting all possible issues in the relationship out...
I cheated on him once about 5 months ago, much to this degree, he found out and forgave me. I've never cheated on a bf before, so I felt so incredibly bad for what I did. I broke it off with the other guy (we never touched or anything, it was just email conversations like the ones he's having now.) So I can't really be pointing fingers. But the difference is that I owned up to it and humbled myself completely and repented 100% while suffering through the hurt with him. I will never cheat again...

There is absolutely no other way that I couldve found out no. If I mention it, he will know, cause the last time he caught me snooping in his email and since then he's changed his access passwords etc. The only way I got ahold of his email is cause I had the technical knowledge on how to crack a password.
Im too ashamed to admit I snooped, the last time I felt crap for days and Im not losing my dignity like that again.
Thanks for all the advice, I might take it and just mention her name to him, thats it. But, still I know the only way Im gona get closure is to get an explanation from him. I will never get closure if I just had to break up with him without him knowing that I know he did wrong.
As im writing this I realize that this relationship has passed the expiry date...
I just need to do that one last thing and get an explanation from him, for him to be caught out and realize what he did/is doing to me, just like I had to. And now to figure out a way to do it...

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dude | 2005/12/09

iz wif Hey ere, uz shud not b goin through mails an stuff thats a bigger issue than eem avin email chats ...

TRUST ... uz don ave it, it don come easy ... guess netha did snow white

Reply to Dude
Posted by: Hey | 2005/12/09

You have a major problem. Sort out your insecurities. Too much is too much. Stop snooping.

Reply to Hey
Posted by: Jean | 2005/12/09

u are going thru the same thing as i am.
women are very insecure, especially when a sense of another woman being around is there,no matter what the relationship might be and no matter how confident a person u might be, we are insecure.
because men never answer questions to our liking we tend to ALWAYS have something lingering at the back of our are scared cuz u think that asking him again might course friction (which it will) u are trying to approach this in a different manner, whilst trying not to tread on any toes.

but becuase u need re-assurance, i would suggest u sit down with him again, tell him again - how u feel about him before brining on any issues aout him, whilst doing this ask him to please listen to u till then end. then tell him exactly how u feel about the cheating matter, telling him why u feel this way. explain to him, that u dont have all the answers, so need him to be honest with u. i would suggest that u dont plan what u might say to him, why cuz when u paln things others are always left out, hence this subject will have to be brought up again. also ask him how he is feeling with u asking all this questions remember to be considerate of his feelings too but tell him that u need to be abel to relax about this in order for the relationship to continue smoothly.

Reply to Jean
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/09

Well.........As I can see there are more to the story then.
however 2 wrongs doesnt make a right at all...

I think when you cheated, alot was lost already...amny people do not fully forgive.
Sumtimes when one cheated, the other one has an attitude of "now I will have a good time as well"
Could be the case? Its the wrong attitude, but it happens.....
It can also be that he is just a cheat.

Whatever the case, yes, i do think your relationship has reached the end.....Sorry about it.

Reply to Delene

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