Our expert says:
Hardly a day goes by without my reminding people that it is very rarely wise to rush into a committed relationship with someone undergoing a divorce or major break-up. It takes time, as well as psychological work for all involved to process and work through the emotional upheavel. Though emotional age is more important than chronological age in a relationship, your fiancee is nearly twice your age, and the son actually closer to your age.
You need first to discuss all this with him - how did he ( I surely hope he did ) discuss this with his son before you moved in ? He needed ( and certainly needs to do so now, if he omitted this vital step ) to talk with his son about the divorce, how each of them feels about it, and about how there is now a new person in his life, who he cares for - remember the boy must surely have significant love for his own mother, and can feel that you are in some sort of rush to replace her, and reluctant to make it easy for you to do so.
Once your fiancee has clarified how he and his son feel about this, plan a sesion for the three of you to talk about it further. Explain to him that you love his father and want to get to know and like him, and that as you are younger than his mom, you are not sure how best to relate to him, but will try your best to make it work, and hope for his help to make this work for all of your sakes.
If this doesn't work, consider a family session with a family counsellor ( eg from FAMSA ).
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.