Our expert says:
Providing support and love for the child is of course important and a good thing to do ; the biomom must be told that she herself should not expect special atention, nor to compete with her own daughter.
Maybe you now feel some resentment towards the child , not for herself, but because she has come to represent her unpleasant mother ? And maybe you just find it especially hard to fous on her needs when your own unmet needs and extra problems of your own illness, place you under so much strain.
But as this anger towards the child is becoming physical, obviously this must stop. Urgently see a shrink / counsellor to work towards understanding and controlling this better. Leximal might not be the best med for you ; some of this large group of possible drugs that can help depression, may increase one's irritability.
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