Posted by: Tired | 2008/01/27


Hi CyberShrink

I am a 19 year old guy with good values and a lot of respect for everybody around me.

I've got a stepmom who from time to time gets real nasty attitudes towards me, and I feel that I simply don't deserve this at all.

Yesterday afternoon when I wanted to make myself some coffee, I accidentally forgot about the mug I used earlier in the morning which I also forgot on the table in the lounge. Nevertheless, while the kettle was busy cooking I was actually looking for my dirty mug but couldn't find it at the basin and wondered what happened to it. She was busy in one of the cupboards and saw me taking a new mug. She nearly fumed and said in a real nasty voice tone and big eyes "Why don't you use the one of this morning." I said sad "I just forgot."

What I can guess from this, is that she was in a bad mood for some or other PMS-related reason, and tried taking it out on me. I am never difficult or untidy and help where I can and feel I did not deserve it.

I approached my father and told him about it and made real clear that it was the very last time that I would be tolerating any more disrespect and attitude from her side, and once again said I don't deserve it.

Please advise CyberShrink.

Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You sound like the sort of guy most mothers ( or stepmothers ) wish their kids were like. Don't take such occasional nasty comments to heart. Maybe it would be more effective to put a litle effort into exceeding her expectations, and disappointing her by removing any possible excuses for her to say anything unpleasant.
And when you discussed this with your dad, what did he suggest ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mother | 2008/01/27

I appreciate what you are saying and a step mom situation is always difficult.  A very very annoying problem that often arises in homes is that the mom gets no help.  People take clean cups, throw dirty washing on the floor and never pick a blooming thing up or ever bother giving a helping hand.  The other members of the family are always watching TV and doing their own thing.  Mom must cook, clean, wipe tears, be the therapist, psychologist, tutor and also may I say, is also easiest person to pick on.  Moms are usually deprived of sleep and understanding as they generally also hold down a full time job.  Please dont grow up to be a man who blames every darn thing on PMS, honestly.

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