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Question
Posted by: stepmom | 2004/10/07

Stepchild

I have 3 stepkids from my husband's previous marraige. I get on very well with the oldest 2, but I have a problem with the youngest one of 6 years old. I have known him for over 4 years - and to be honest - I don't like him.
Initially I thought my chances of creating a bond with this kid, would be better than with the other, but to the contrary.
After his visits to his mom, he comes back negatvie, aggressive etc - I know, all classic symptoms which I should have accepted by now.
A bit background - his mother is an alcoholic who lives with a man who abuses her when they both get drunk. because of these circumstances, we got custody of all the kids.

the youngest one does not want to live with us - and all the explaining in the world has not helped clarify the situation for us. I sometimes catch him hurting my own child of 2 - out of spite

Please help me with this - I have come to the end of my tether with this kid. I have taken him to psycologists, I have tried everything. He hates us and does not want to be with us

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

stepmom, how useless were the psychologists who failed to help you with this problem ? You can't force him to love you ( though that may come, latr ). But you and his dad, acting together, can set down rules for the house, which he has to keep to, including no cruelty to any other kid. And a code of punishments by reducing his access to whatever pleases him. Have you tried talking about this with the 2 older kids, to see what they think about this, and what they may suggest ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: D@mn | 2004/10/07

poor kid to have a stepmother like you!
He is SIX, you are an ADULT, there should not be any personality problems between a small child and an adult. If there is its the adults responsibility to put her feelings aside, grow up and work it out.....
He probably senses you don't like him and is reacting to it. Would you want to live in a house were you KNOW you are not liked? Of course he hates being there, what the hell do you expect?!
He doesn't need a psychologist lady, you do!

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