Posted by: Jules | 2007/03/28


A wonderful person came into my life 5 months ago and we have been living together since then.

I am divorced with 2 kids, and he is divorced with 3.

I have made a sincere effort to make every part of this family unit, bat lately his kids have become reluctant to visit us on his weekends. Reasons sited are varioius ones, but mostly sibling rivalry between his kiddies and mine. We never take sides, but believe kids should sort it out. If serious, we will intervene.

It now turns out they do not wish to see me, but rather visit with their dad on day excursions. Please help. Where did things go wrong.

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Our expert says:
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Couples counselling might help the pair of you to formulate effective ways of dealing with the kids and letting them appreciate the advantages of your relationship --- sibling rivalry can arise in any family, however constituted, but can be dealt with. Simply assuming that the kids can and wil, sort it out among themselves may not be the best of policies. And it may be not so much sibling rivalry, or any specific antipathy towards you, but simply that whereas they saw themselves as having only limited time to spend with their dad, now they see themselves as having to share that with you and your children, and may see you as taking some of their previous time from them,

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Our users say:
Posted by: JULES | 2007/03/29

My kids are: 14 & 11 (Boy and girl)
His: 12 (girl), 11 (boy), 8 (boy).

Reply to JULES
Posted by: t | 2007/03/28

Pls dont listen to whooz.
Maybe the kids are having a hard time seeing there dad with another women. I guess you have to give the kids time and really be patient. Dont force them but allow them to come to you. You have to speak to yuo kids to be nice to them and ur partner needs to have a really good talk to his kids. He needs to explain that you ar ea part of his life and that things will get better. You are a great person and they should give you a change.
How old are his kids and yours

Reply to t
Posted by: Whooz | 2007/03/28

Give it up..... leave this wonderful man and get someone else, cause there is always going to be arguments, rivalry exc... unless you're prepared to have a shittly life for the rest of it! I know what I'm talking about!!!!!! I can't wait to die.

Reply to Whooz

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