Our expert says:
Good grief, you're anything except a terrible mom --- you've been a terrific mom to kids that aren't yours, while a wholly irresponsible and truly terrible mom, their own, has exploited you shamelessly. And there's nothing childish about expecting consideration, kindness and love, as well as appreciation, from these greedy and selfish kids, who shouldn't even be open to any influence to treat you less than excellently for all that you ahve done with them.
Maybe, as she may have been giving them misinformation, it's high time you sat down with the kids and explained the situation, that their mother abandoned them, and that you have gone to all the trouble and expense of raising them ever since, while she flits from husband to husband, and only sees them for short visits --- and be happy to make it clear that you expect consideration and some sincere signs of appreciation from them, and that their relative neglect of you is hurtful and undeserved.
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