Our expert says:
Dear Meg, sounds like a tremendously annoying and frustrating situation. Thank goodness your husband has had the sense to recognize what has been going on, and to remain sensible about i.
Depending on the mother's medical condition ( and there are siome awfully phoney Boardings going on ) it doesn't necessarily mean that she's become a helpless invalid and unable to look after her daughter. If there is a good reason why she can't care for the child any more, then it would need to be negotiated, with it being made absolutely clear that the child can only come to live with you if she obeys the rules of your house, and stops all the mischief-making that has been problematic so far.
And isn't it about time that the 19-year-old started planing to fend for himself, instead of interfering in his father's marriage ? It sounds as if part of the problem could be a perceived lack of sanctions on your side ? Get together as paents and think this through creatively --- any malice from the kids and --- no TV for a week, no computer / internet access ; no prmission to go out to parties ; whatever works.
What do other readers think ?
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