Posted by: Rubi | 2006/11/12

Splitting between in-laws and husband

Sorrie, I've got more than one question, but will post them seperatly...if possible?
My situation is VERY stressfull to me: I'm protective over my boy (38months), one of the reasons being that he has just been diagnosed with plenty of allergies....
My in-laws don't share my point of views regarding the matter....This weekend my brother-in-law envited us to go to the Kruger National Park next winter with them. My husband knows that I don't want to take our little boy to a malaria area before he is at least 5-8 yr old. So he said that he will go with...Now how do I explain that I don't want to take our boy there...I wanted his support, but he say that he wants to go and that's that...If I don't want to, I can stay home...We had other simmular sittuations before....Now I feel like the bad-guy, alone and isolated....Needing to fight the whole family on my own...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Makes sense to be cautious about malarial areas --- do they really HAVE to go to such areas ? They;re being selfish and irresponsible, without thinking of the child's best interests. But check with the kid's doc as to whether he will be OK on anti-malarial meds, and whether any of his specific allergies will be relevant --- and to be sure, if you go, that you take enough meds with you, as they may not be easy to get in such areas

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nia | 2006/11/13

I may be wrong - but the risk of Malaria in the Kruger Park is much lower during Winter time.

Reply to Nia
Posted by: Rubi | 2006/11/13

Thanx, Momof3....Yes I don't know why I'm so angry and sad about the whole thing...I think I'm overwhelmed with the whole allergy thing. He tested positive for everything(milk, wheat, gluten, eggs,peanuts,soya), except fish. He gets reactions even with the meds, exzema, asma, swollen lymph, vomiting, exc....The doc on the forum and ped feels not to take a child under 5-8yr to malaria area. I did discuss it with hubby and he just say he thinks I'm to worried, and that he is still going....This is just going to isolate me more from the family...I feel like I just want to ignore them and sit in my little whole....but this will do nobody any good....

Reply to Rubi
Posted by: Momof3 | 2006/11/12

Hi Rubi .I understand how you feel but alleries are not things to keep your son away from everything for.He will outgrow them in time.
You could talk to hubby nicely and quietly when you guys are on your own and say that you feel going to a malaria area with your young son might not be such a good idea at this moment in time. and say why But you have to have medical info to back you up.
Ask the cyberdoc if your son can take malaria medication, -syrup .at this age ot the age he will be at then as i am sure he would be ok to take syrup and i am sure you get malaria syrup for kids.I think the family and hubby thinks you are perhaps too overprotective of your son. That is why he is say he is going and you should too.
Dont let it become a battle between you and him and his family.Find out all you can about allergies(I am sure he is on medication for them) and if he can take malaria medication too ontop of that.Then explain to hubby calmly when you have all the info.Then make up your mind.If you feel its to risky then stay with your son and let hubby go.You cant always keep your son or your hubby back because of your sons "allergies".You and your son could have a great deal of fun with dad and the family with little risk and you will take precautions anyway.My advise is bunddle them all in , take the meds, take the precautuions and live your life.

Reply to Momof3

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