Posted by: Just wondering | 2009/03/19

Spice it up girl???

Am I just boring, or cant I see the light? My partner has this sexual fantacy of having sex with two women. Everytime we are intimate just the talk of what she (the other partner) and I are doing, and him having this fantastic orgy, exites him. I always thought that it is only a fantacy, for the two of us to talk about with one another, not actually having a third person present while having sex???? I know where I was and with whom, My question to him is where was she previously????what about sdd' s and all those awfull things out there???? He is getting serious now and talks about it all the time??? Is this normal???

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Our expert says:
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Your concerns are valid about another person's sexual history/risk of sti's, but I'm also wondering if this is even something YOU want to do. If it is okay with you, then I suppose one would use the same strategies with a new partner as usual (condoms, dental dams, etc). However, if it's not okay, then perhaps you should let him know that your fantasy is just that, a fantasy and something you don't want to act out...I wonder what would it mean to him not to be able to do this in reality? Would it make a significant difference to him, or has he just let it run away with him a little? I think that you need to be true to yourself and if you are not okay with this, then don't do it. If you would like to explore, then fine; just keep yourselves safe. Also, if you go ahead with it, establish 'rules' about what is/isn't okay for both of you in that scenario so that you don't have any nasty surprises (e.g. is it okay hor him to have sex with her, or just you two, can he kiss her or just you, etc.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Just wondering | 2009/03/20

Hell no, this is one thing I would not do. I feel that the sexual experience between 2 people are private and very special. Since this issue has come up my attitude towards him has changed and I now realises that our relationship will most probably never work out. He is my ex husband and we are currently living in different cities. Also there is an age gap of about 13 years. I consider myself still attractive (I am 40) as much younger men do make advances at me. I am single for about 8 months now and a very private person. At this stage I feel that I would rather be alone than having this kind of crap. Are all men looking at extreme ways to have that ultimate sexual experience???

Reply to Just wondering
Posted by: J | 2009/03/19

UNDERSTAND this from the begining the moment you and your partner have sex with a 3rd person involved you will then have no control over the future of his sexual desires in other words ounce he tastes the fruit he will go eat it elswhere may as well say goodbye to your thing his going to ask you to have a act with another man while he watches ...and it dont stop there..

Reply to J

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