Posted by: Mickey | 2009/04/14


Dear doc

Does space help a relationship heal and change for the better,my relationship has no infidelity but weve been experiencing problems eversince we moved in together,please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Space is, by definition, empty. Thus, it doesn't necessarily help to heal anything. When a relationship has problems, they may be revealed by living together, and couples counselling is most likely to identify the problems and see whether solutions are practical.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mickey | 2009/04/15

Thanks guys,we are thinking of living seperately again,our relationship worked well then,we love each other dearly but i think living together needs a lot of work

Reply to Mickey
Posted by: No way | 2009/04/15

Space is the death knell. If either of you needs space you really want a whole lot of it for a looooooog time. Absence however, in a strong relationship where neither of you WANTS to be apart, is something quite different.

Reply to No way
Posted by: Really | 2009/04/15

Space...... I think it all depends on what the two of you want out of a relationship....if taking a break means separating and having other relationships then... it may not be such a good idea, but sometimes it maybe a bliss...

I think that everyone needs a break at some point in life..however you need to examine the reasons that you are basing the space on... some people will only see and feel the value of what they have when they are not constant incontact. I think that is why in the law of divorce, there is a period called Separation.... marriages are usually put on a separation period before they are put through divorce.... I didn' t say all marriages, some marriages and some couples do work things out eventually and others don' t.

Living together needs a lot of adjusting to and it may take a lot of time for both of you to get used to being in each other' s space, CONSIDER THIS FIRST!

It is very important to trend carefully when you decide on giving each other space... because this could make or break a relationship...besides if you two love each other that much... there are many better ways of working through your issues than taking ' time outs' 

Good Luck

Reply to Really
Posted by: Liza | 2009/04/15

I know - your post is addressed to CS, but I' ll put in my 2c worth anyway.

Space has never done any good in any of the relationships I' ve been in. Only counselling has. Taking time out of a relationship only made me more certain that the way I felt was ' right'  and the way that I thought my partner felt was ' wrong' . Counselling helped me to work through my feelings and be more objective about them as well as improving communication skills - which is also a very important part of a good relationship.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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