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Question
Posted by: Helena de Moer IN | 2005/12/02

Sorry CS

Now he's saying once a month I go to supper with a school pal. Yes I do just after 5 and he knows exactly what restaurant and I am always home at 7.

Is he trying to justify what he's done ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Of course he's trying to justify what he's done, and how pathetically bad he is at that ! If you decide to stay, invite him to join you for the next supper you have with your school pal ; and if you decide to go --- go.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/02

HOT, the days in my life that I hang around for a man to come around is so over.
I will never tollorate it ever.

And i dont understand anymore so much why i did it to myself in the past or why woman do it to themselves.
Honestly....people wont change....
You can hang around forever waiting for him to change, but the newsflash is, he WONT.
And many times woman(and men) hang in a relationship cuz of the hope for change.
I'm glad to see you are realizing that what you are doing to yourself is just not worth it.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: HoT | 2005/12/02

Delene this posting reply as well as the other one has meant a lot to me.

But I think the wisest words or rather the most meaningful to me right now is what Blompot said:

I think we all sometimes get to a point in our lives that we just feel we had enough of sadness and tears. Were you know you’ve worked hard at making it work but cant or don’t want to put in anymore.

That is how I am feeling right now and I cannot see it changing.

Reply to HoT
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/02

Helena
Once it starts with its you then you and its one blaming game.....
Its useless to talk
Keep quiet...or say
"whatever"

I like those words "whatever", cuz it cuts a conversation...
or
"are you finished?"
.then stick to the point.
Dont argue
You can say
"whatever, so what's your decision?"
Then when he still wanna warra warra, take that as your decision......and say it....."thanx i got my answer & end the conversation" Other wise it can carry on forever & you both can end up saying things you shouldnt.
Tough? you knew setting that ultimatum would storm things up, so now you have to be tough.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/02

Tell me about it! One of the hardest things in life to admit. You almost feel like a failure until you get past that point and realise that it is not you, but the other person who has failed you. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: HoT | 2005/12/02

It's not nice admitting the end of a relationship.

Reply to HoT
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/02

Well, then, I am sorry to tell you this but it sounds like you are in a dead end relationship. It will destroy you if you let it. You need to think long and hard about what you want out of life now. Are you prepared to stay with him and put up with all the nonsense, or get out of it and start your life over and regain your sanity and self-respect?

Your decision.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: HoT | 2005/12/02

Do you understand that we have talked about this over and over. It's like some of these rascist postings it goes around and around? Well there is no use in talking anymore. I've as CP mom said thrown my toys, I've packed my bags only to stay, I've done it all.

What is left ?

At his age he is not going to change and before this friend took a package they worked together. Have known each other 20 odd years and his friend goes to prossies if he's not with his married girlfriend. Nothing will change.

Reply to HoT
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/02

What did you say would happen if he did this sort of thing? Did you threaten to leave him? Whatever you said you would do or would happen you must now follow through with it, no matter how hard it is. Otherwise, the whole situation will just get worse and he will continue to walk all over you.

Ask to see his fingers and when he asks why, just say you wanted to see if maybe they were broken and that was the reason he could not phone you!

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: Hot | 2005/12/02

We had this discussion when I moved in and sold my house.

He know's exacthly where he stands with me on this.

I've always tolerated this friend because I said as long as it does not interfere with my time or his childrens.

He could have sent and sms or called me or something. I've never ever gone anywhere where he did not know where I am.

Reply to Hot
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/02

Okay. But I think he knows this and is taking advantage of it and you. You need to spell it all out for him, i.e. what you expect from him, the relationship excetera. However, whatever you do, be prepared to stick to your guns. That is very important. He WILL test you metal, but hopefully, he will realise you mean what you say and it will solve the whole issue.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: CP ook nou kwaad | 2005/12/02

Hierdie man is besig om vir homself al hoe dieper 'n gat te grawe....eish!

Reply to CP ook nou kwaad
Posted by: Helena the Sucker | 2005/12/02

Yes I do love him to much I think.

Reply to Helena the Sucker
Posted by: Helena changing to Catarina (Hurricane?) | 2005/12/02

Can you believe this cheek.

Feel like, I don't know what but something!

Reply to Helena changing to Catarina (Hurricane?)
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/02

I think he is trying to turn the whole thing around and put the blame at your feet! BAAAAAD MOVE!

Are you still in love with him?

Reply to Frusty

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