Posted by: PARENT | 2009/07/24


I hav reached the end of my tether. My son is in a Model C school, school fees are R1520 pm.
Since late last term and during the exams as well he goes with his dad and comes home after 10pm sometimes as late as 11.40pm. I have spoken to son but this still continues.
The 1st 2 days of the new term he did not go to school cos he could not find his school shoes. Dad doesnt make him look for this but buys him new shoes. Not that we have excess money.
Son has become arrogant, rebellious to the point where he tried to break my arm then picked up a clothes hanger to hit me.
I am concerned about his school work as no homework gets done. Should I go to the school and explain what is going on at home as well.

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Our expert says:
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Are you and his father still together as it sounds as if you have two very different parenting plans for him? Where this happens the young person will take the gap between parents in order to get what they want. If you are the more strict of the two then you will be on the receiving end of his anger as you are the one saying no to him.

It would be worth discussing things with the school counsellor if there is one and consider their advice. If two different styles of parenting exist you and his father need to reach compromises so that no further splitting occurs. You might want to consider seeing a psychologist together to discuss your concerns, and to look at effective ways of parenting.

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Our users say:
Posted by: edward sanchez | 2010/03/23

My gf and i really like eachother but she says her dad would highly disapprove of her having a bf (especially because her parents had her when they were in high school) i would like her to tell them about me but she says its to risky but if they say she cant have a bf i wont go anywhere i love her so what do i do?? (we are both 17)

Reply to edward sanchez
Posted by: relate | 2009/10/28

i' m in exactly the same situation. my eldest son who just turned 18 has a very arrogant way about him. He shows no interest in his school work and as a result of this he is repeating grade 11. he is also at a model c school and whenever we confront him about his behaviour he will either ignore us or blame everyone but himself. he has no regard for the way he speaks to people and believes that the world owes him a favour. this creates so much tension in our home that his father has threatened to throw him out of the house. he lies about everything and when confronted about his lies he is in complete denial. i sometimes fear that he might be a compulsive liar. His teachers all complains about his lies and this put us as parents in such a bad light. He has now been isolated from the rest of his class because his teachers cant handle him any longer. he will show up late for school and will then tell the teacher some lie that his dad drove away from him and he had to take the bus when the actual truth is that he gets dropped at school on time every morning. my poor husband, shame he has lost it so many times with him that the relationship is none existent. we had a drug test done on him and it turned up negative. the latest craze is where he just don' t come home (especially weekends) and will rock up the next day with some lousy excuse. I HAVE HAD IT. AS PARENTS WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND UNDERSTANDING BUT MY GOOD GRIEF WE ARE ALSO JUST HUMAN BEINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to relate
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/09/17

The father is the problem, not the son.

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