Our expert says:
You're not really a disruption, though I can understand why you might feel that way - you're a part of that life, which, like all lives, has themes and variations, like good music does.
Even a truly superior mind isn't superhuman or brilliant on all tasks and at all times. Even in comic books, most superheros have special vulnerabilities as well as super-powers.
Particularly effective people ( much more useful in the long run than superheros - imagine how tiresome one of those would be as a neighbour !) are able to work through the dry spells and droughts being largely "good-enough" so as to be on hand when they are also able to work at full power and be excellent.
The measure isn't whether you have reached the pinnacles you once imagined ( those are more like using the stars as navigation aids ) but whether, using those as guides, you have reached worthwhile achievements. And that, I think, you have done.
In my experience, having go to know some legendary hisorical figures and Nobel Prize winners, they were indeed concerned with doing things as well as they could, but didn't take time to bea themselves up for anything they hadn't done, rather looking ahead to what they could still do.
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