Posted by: SR | 2006/04/21

someone to talk to

When you are feeling down and need someone to talk to I'm sure you have someone to call. However I'd like to know from the forum members the various reactions that they could get.


1. Someone who absorbs your negativity and just leaves you feeling even more depressed and maybe the two of you end up having a tiff on the phone

2. Someone who is resilient and perks you up leaving you feeling better for having phoned them

3. Someone who tells it as it is and tells you to stop snivelling and get your act in order

4. Other ?

I'd like to hear your varilous experiences. And when you first port of choice does not work out, whom do you call?

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Our expert says:
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Interesting question, SR. Eliciting some good and thoughtful responses

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Liz123 | 2006/04/21

I am a leader but at time a follower too. All depends?

Reply to Liz123
Posted by: SR | 2006/04/21

Lonestar = I tend to be a loner too and I seldom post on this forum. I look out for quality posts. I exchange with very few forum members and seldomly so as well. It interests me how women handle these issues as men are less in touch with their emotional side

Reply to SR
Posted by: Lonestar | 2006/04/21

Personally I am hesitant to phone anyone or approach anyone for that matter, mainly because I have been stabbed in the back so many times and secondly because the majority tends to rant about their problems pulling me even further down into the pit.

I admit that I have a trust issue and those FEW people that I do trust (2 to be exact) aren't always available due to the nature of their work and living conditions.

The forum and trust, it's like gambling, but I've always been accepted in many ways and yes there is the factor of staying anonymous. So I don't know you and you don't know me (personally that is).

Just my opinion.


Reply to Lonestar
Posted by: SR | 2006/04/21

Liz123 = then you must be a very resilient person yourself. Are you a natural leader or do you consider yourself a leader?

Reply to SR
Posted by: Liz123 | 2006/04/21

Yes i do SR, but I work on the positive all the time, and believe me it takes work, work and more work.

Reply to Liz123
Posted by: SR | 2006/04/21

Liz123 = thats deep, do you sometimes become disselusioned with people and life? Maybe you feel you are not understood ?

Reply to SR
Posted by: Liz123 | 2006/04/21

This is so true:

Avoid wasting your time with a person who does not help you better yourself, who only helps distract you from feelings of loneliness. When the true friend you seek is not found easily, however, you become impatient. You fill the gap with anyone who comes along, idling your time with meaningless interaction, missing out on the most valuable time and experience you could have spent alone. Instead, use your solitude to create the deepest inner character, build the strongest heart, and blossom into the person you once dreamed of finding. Having begun this hardest of work within, you will naturally attract a friend who can help you better yourself from without.

Reply to Liz123
Posted by: Tango | 2006/04/21

I have some really fabulous friends and they each have what I would call their special ways of dealing with me and when I am down I will call the one I know thats good with me for those reasons. I have one very special friend that is never judgemental, listens well and cares. She knows me better than I know myself!! She is my first port of call, however she has never married or had children so those issues I generally take else where.

Reply to Tango
Posted by: SR | 2006/04/21

Lady Nina = thanks for the feedback

I guess your last comment falls under other when someone dumps on you with them leaving the conversation better off and you being left worse off

Reply to SR
Posted by: lady nina | 2006/04/21

hi sr

i found that every few people are availible to help if you need a pep talk never mind meeting your needs at that point
so you'll be dissapointed most of the time if you wait for friends to help you out

from the other side, i hate it when "friends" call me only if they have a need and all they do it take take take and expect more than i can give, they make me sick, once the call end they leave all happy go lucky and i get left with all the worries and new problems

only in a friendship where both adults are mature and content can you find a give and take situation and on;t there will you find the kids of advice you need, because it's rooted in respect and trust
you have to respect the other persons time and opions and you can only do that if you trust thet person has your best interest at heart

hope this helps


firstly those needs should be met my yourself and

Reply to lady nina

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