Posted by: Emma | 2008/10/02

Someone please believe me!

Any disabled person out there will know that it is not easy for us to live in this able bodied world. I have lived as an " able body"  all my life, but now at 52 I find I cannot cope with a full time job and living alone anymore. It is all just too much and I am so tired everyday. However when I tell friends and family I cannot cope anymore with it all they just laugh it off and say of cause you can. Why will no one listen to me?!

I am really being unreasonable about this? I will be going for couseling soon, but I have my doubts that even she will understand where I am coming from.......

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Our expert says:
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Of course you're not being unreasonable. It is a penalty for those of us who have always worked hard and have long seemed to be capable, that others assume you are always capable of handling everything, and just don't notice qwhen you deserve and need help and support. If your soon-to-be counsellor has any skills, he/she will understand and help.
Remember, when people ar epraising yopu for being so capable and strong, they're not describing but prescribing --- they're giving instructions on how they need you to be

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Girlfriend | 2008/10/03

So so sorry about your situation. My boyfriend got disabled (brain tumor) prior to his death and i know that it is a huge challenge not only physically but mentally too. I would give his some tough love at time - not wanting him to feel sorry for himself, but now i don' t know whether it was a good thing or not! I hope you' ll get help soon.

Reply to Girlfriend
Posted by: Emma | 2008/10/03

It is good to hear that some people out there do understand. EL you said it I do need some sympathy some of the time and understanding and a helping hand with some things. But very little of that comes my way. I hope CS is right and the councellor will be able to give me some advice on how to make my life easier.

Reply to Emma
Posted by: EL | 2008/10/02

I think the people you are talking about just want to make you positive, maybe they believe you, but they probably feel that if they tell you that they agree with you that you will feel worse. I kind of know how you feel and sometimes we don' t want to hear that we can, we just need some sympathy sometimes (not that I like sympathy). Whatever you do in life you must do for yourself, not for any other person, so do the best you can for yourself and if you don' t feel strong enough, it' s okay to feel that way, don' t feel bad about it.

Reply to EL
Posted by: Zola | 2008/10/02

I hear you. I am able bodied but there are time where life is so hard and poeple keep telling you that you will be fine, you are a strong woman and I feel like strangling them, coz I am done being strong - I don' t want to be strong anymore....

Sorry I can' t help - I just wanted to say that I hear you.

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