Posted by: Chick | 2004/11/23

Some of these are real good

1. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
3. Half the people you know are below average.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8. If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9. All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
12. OK, So what's the speed of dark?
13. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14. If everything seems to be going well you have obviously overlooked something.
15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19. I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
20. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
25. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
26. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
27. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
28. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
29. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
30. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
31. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
32. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

mmm !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.