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Posted by: Kitty | 2006/04/06

Some news. good or bad

Hey u guys.

I have some news but i do not know if it is good or bad.
My ex bf came to me and said that he is very sorry that he did not want to give the realationship a second chance. but we both agreed to keep it the way we are for now. ( we still see eachother every day since we broke up) It feels for both of us like it was in the beginning of uor realtionship. (Butterflies & liefde en water muisneste exc.)

i think thats good but now there is anoter thing. i may be pregnant. i dont feel bad or anything and i know he wil be extatic about the idea.
What should i do now?
If i am pregnant shoud we get back together or shoud we stay almost as we are now?

Plz Doc i am not sad i just need to talk to someone that can give me a senseable answer.

Kitty

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Our expert says:
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Well, meeting daily is hardly a break-up --- what broke ? Decide about the pregnancy in its own right --- its neither a reason to get together or to part. Why not see a personal counsellor to work through these questions in more detail than we have space for, here ? And get the pregnancy confirmed or denied, and discuss this with him. See what his views are. Me/s comments make excellent good sense

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2006/04/06

Kitty,

My advice comes from experience. If you guys have sorted out your problems, put your lives back together, & are now ready for long term commitment, then you know what you need to do.

Be certain to let him no that this baby does not put him under any obligation to marry you. He should not feel pressurized to marry you for the sake of the baby - you will just be doing yourself & the baby a great injustice. You guys will just be miserable. And you know what, no matter how rational you are, in the heat of a fight/argument it will just come out that the only reason you guys are married is becos of the baby. You don't want to be hurt.

So, do a home preg test or visit the doc, confirm the pregnancy. Irrespective of the result, meet for dinner, sit down & talk. Please see that you're clear about why u guys would want to be married. This may sound silly, but write down reasons for why you would want to spend the rest of your lives together & how you're going to make this relationship work. The baby shouldn't be in a ny of your reasons. You're going to think this is so stupid, but just do it. Remember, marriage is a life long commitment & forever is an extremely long time.

Don't be afraid about the pregnancy. I fell pregnant when I least expected to & when I just couldn't imagine having a child in my life. I was shit scared. I just didn't know how I would cope with this new person in my life, demanding my time, energy & an added expense. I had just started a new job, wanted to study & a wanted to do a world of other things.

Things will fall into place. You start growing to love this little being in you. Sometimes you'll be frustrated cos you'll feel miserable, uncomfortable, etc, but when the baby is born, things change. It's just great to see this work of art you've created. It's difficult, but eventually you can sleep again. A year isn't a long time.(collic, teething, etc)

My daughter is 2 now. We just can't get enough of her. She is just adorable & yes she's a brat at times. Doesn't always listen, sometimes wants everything her way, gets sick, etc, but it's great having her.

Take each day as it comes. And remember you are not alone. If you need someone to stay in touch with, we can keep in touch. You always need a shoulder to cry on.

Keep your head up girl!

Reply to Me
Posted by: Kitty | 2006/04/06

He is already prepaerd to start again. I just hope he does not feel presused to get back together.

He does love me and i love him. We just had to get our lives back together and then start again.

im just sceard of the whole pregnancy idea.

Reply to Kitty
Posted by: Me | 2006/04/06

If you sem each other everyday, seems like there is still something going on. Why did you guys break up in the first place? If you are pregnant, discuss this with him. See what your options are. Don't jump into marriage if you find out you're pregnant. Look at the reason why you broke up in the first place. If you can remedy this & get back together on a long term basis, then maybe you guys can consider being a family. If you can't patch the relationship up, then it's time to make changes, go seperate ways. He can still play a part in your child's up bringing. You guys can still be friends, but it will be difficult, and you can still find love again & enter into a new relationship.

Just look at your life & see what you want in the long term.

Reply to Me

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