Posted by: M | 2007/04/18

Some motivation and advice please!

I'm 35 yrs old and come to the depressing conclusion that I have achieved very little in my life! Due to a low self esteem and fear of failure, I have missed out on a lot of opportunities in life, studying etc. I am now sitting in a dead end job, (dead end marraige). My biggest problem is, is that I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life! I always hear how people say you must use your God given talents.....I feel like I don't have any!! I have never excelled at anything. I tried studying thru the post, a Small business Management course, which had a wide range of subjects, with the aim of finding something that I liked within the business world,be it finances, marketing etc., but that fell flat as I was working full day, kids and little support from my husband. So my questions are: Is it too late? Where do I start? How do I find direction? It feels like I'm going round in circles and not getting any where!!!!

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Our expert says:
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You left out some very important words --- you FEEL that you have achieved very little SO FAR. See a counsellor, preferably of the CBT style, to work on that self-esteem and to rid yourself of that fear of failure. Of course you have talents ( having a talent doesn't mean one excels at anything, necessarily ) Work with a good local counsellor to set your direction and select the best way of getting there from here

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Our users say:
Posted by: Same here | 2007/04/18

Well, i cant say i am in the same situation, i dont have kids or married but have a long term commited relationship. I also feel that i am still young and need to get my life into some sort of meaning. I so badly want to do something meaningful. I read this the other day and made sense, hope it helps a bit.

"When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?"

What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back.

Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to understand that ALL problems are rooted inside us. Even the blocks that appear to be outside of us are only reflecting back an issue we have inside that we have not yet owned. Once we address our inner issue, the outer situation no longer troubles us.

The buck always stops with us. We step into our power when we accept responsibility for our lives.

"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, ‘Why me?’ becomes a theme song."

"...look at that word blame. It's just a coincidence that the last two letters spell the word me. But that coincidence is worth thinking about. Other people or unfortunate circumstances may have caused you to feel pain, but only you control whether you allow that pain to go on. If you want those feelings to go away, you have to say: ‘It's up to me.’"

"Don't make excuses -- make good."

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