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Question
Posted by: gemima | 2005/12/14

so scared to see the family after so long

Hi, my family emigrated to America 3 three years however I decided to stay here to study. I have not seen them since they left and in the three years I have been at University I have put on so much weight, about 30kgs, due to my ongoing feelings of depression, loneliness and despair. It's been so difficult for me to adjust to living in SA without family and the only way I've been able to cope is by consoling myself with food.

My current despair however concerns my fears of having to see my family again in January, I am so scared they will be shocked by how much weight I have put on! I'm so scared they won't even recognise me and also criticise me. I used to be quite sporty before I started Varsity and so I'm sure they'll be even more shocked that I have left myself go so badly.

Perhaps Doc could you please give me some advice as to how I can possibly approach this situation. I am absolutely dreading that airport reunion moment.

Thanks alot xx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Gemima !
What you describe isn't an uncommon situation. If only food weren't so darn consoling ! More of us would be slim, but, I suppose, unconsoled.
As to the reunion. After 3 years, we all change and look different ( they'll look surprisingly different to you, too ); but I'm sure that they will be so very pleased to see you that they are not going to stop and worry about whether you are a bit larger than you were before. Maybe while you're with them you'll be able to feel more comfortable and confident, and start making realistic plans to lose the unnecessary extra weight.
Deubel's suggestion of sending some pictures by email is a good one if practical, and a passing reference to some weight-gain will also lessen the degree of possible surprise.
And at 3 20 am, it's time you got to bed and some restful sleep, Gemima ! Let us know on your return, or when you get internet access over there, how the reunion goes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: been there | 2005/12/14

they should accept you as you are. People love others for their personalities and what/who they are and not for looks!!!!

Reply to been there
Posted by: Deubel | 2005/12/14

Forgot to add.

Your personality hasn't change and you are still part of the family, so they won't necessarily critisize you. And you can always start working on losing some of that extra weight.

Reply to Deubel
Posted by: Deubel | 2005/12/14

Send them a picture of you and some of your friends before they depart and tell them that you have gained some weight since they last saw you. They will then know what to expect.

Reply to Deubel

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