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Question
Posted by: undecided | 2007/05/22

so confused

I've been in a relationship for 7 years now- last year we had a baby together. He was very happy to make baby but all the planning and work, financial responsiblilities became mine- Apparently he could not handle my emotional state during my pregnancy. I've found out that he has cheated on me at least three times during our relationship. I've forgiven him twice before as a lot of other things were happening as well. Now I found out that he cheated on me just after the baby was born and before he asked me to marry him. when confronted he claims that we were not together at that time but I do not recall him saying it was over. he is now not in the country but wants me to relocate and be with him once he has set up a home for us later this year. I want to have a family but I have no faith that he will respect the marriage and not cheat. I know I should cut him loose but finding it difficult as he is not listening to me when I say it is over and still claims to love me, want to spend his life with me, etc. Do I give him another chance for the sake of our baby?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For the man, simply making a baby is all pleasure and no responsibility at all --- don't ever allow a man to get anywhere near making a baby with you until you have really good reasons tor being convinced that he will handle the emotional, work and financial responsibilities properly and sincerely --- like diamonds, babies are forever. <br>I wish the idiots who preach that everyone ought to always forgive everyone else for everything, (a) had ever in their entire lives had anything happen to them that was really worth forgiving, and (b) would turn up at your door and handle all the problems and work caused when you "forgave" a heel and enabled him to continue to cause problems for you. <br>Stop forgiving him, until he behaves like a guy who recognizes what his responsibilities are and genuinely repents for what he has done. Apologising just to get to sleep with you again does not count as repentance. <br>Relocating to another country with such an irresponsible boy, removing yourself from your family and friends here, would probably be disasterous. Keeping someone like him around is unlikely to be of any genuine benefit to your baby

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Our users say:
Posted by: LP | 2007/05/22

NO! He had enough chances and screwed up every time.
Think about you and your baby - and your child will be bette roff without a lying, cheating dad!

Reply to LP

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