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Question
Posted by: Melody | 2004/01/21

So confused

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We live together and have a great time together. We respect each other and do everything together. But I no longer want to sleep with him. I find myself flirting with men that make me feel beautiful and special. What can I do to put that kind of spark and passion back in my relationship. I don't want someone else, but it just feels sooo dull and mundane. It all feels like the same thing, over and over again! Please help - if you have any ideas on how to jumpstart my relationship, I would appreciate it.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Melody,
And yet flirts are never beautiful or special, only cheap and obvious, so you're giving up your beauty and specialness, for no good reason. Maybe some of ou other readers may have some ideas about "jump-starting" your sexual relationship --- personally, I find that method can be shocking, and one gets tangled up in the leads and wires. Seriously, there's no substitute for the two of you talking together and discussing this, so you can better understand what you both enjoy ( and did enjoy ) and put the spice back where it belongs. It's as much your fault as his if things have lost their zing, and yet wou haven't been zinging about it or discused it with him. You need to work on it together. Do you even know if he is still enjoying things, or maybe also feeling disappointed ?

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