Our expert says:
"Confronting" is foolishly over-valued. Buyt this is not something either of you can forget or overlook. Rather try for a low-key, calm discussion, pointing out that in the situation which arose you could hardly fail to see the message, and asking him to explain it --- and to explain why he then had to delete so many other messages.
Marriage counselling would be a really good idea, to work this through. And if, as it appears, he has been cheating, this exposes you to real physial illnesses including HIV and other STD, so it could be dangerous to ignore this, too.
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