Our expert says:
Sadly, it's not unusual for addicts, including smokers, to lie, to themselves and to others, if thyey occasionally lapse back into their bad habit. Most people might consider this an unfortunate event, but not really the sort of major betrayal you seem to be experiencing.
But presumably this is coloured by the other suspicions, which may not actually represent anything especally sinister on his part, of maybe they do.
You have various options. YOu could indeed "accuse" him with the risks you outline. YOu could discuss it with him min a less confrontational way, remarking that a friend has commented about being puzzled about why so often he's seen coming to fetch you from an odd direction, and you weren't sure what to say to her.
You could profitably mention that you are finding trust issues bothersome, as may he, and propose you see a marriage counsellor together.
Sometimes what is currently wrong in a relationship isn't the cigarette or the traffic pattern, but the way that you have come to feel difficulty in trusting him. And that deserves attention, for both of your sakes, whether there turns out to be excellent reasons for not feeling trust, or not
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