Our expert says:
The second most FAQ on this forum is Penis size. No1 is masturbation. Please see the archives as we have covered this question over and over.
The only reason why your penis can be detrimental to your marriage, is if you choose to make it an issues.
Bigger is not better. Female orgasms start from clitoral stimulation, that by the way will have nothing to do with penis size. If your wife does not know what is pleasurable for her, how can she expect you too know. Talk to each other, explore each others bodies and relax. Why not do a "Sexological exam" together and explore her body.
How To Do A Sexam:
No, this isn't an exam you take with pencil and paper. The Sexam is short for Sexological Exam. Many of us go through life having sex, periods, and giving birth without knowing what we look like "down there". If you lost your vulva (hypothetically, of course), would you be able to know enough of what it looks like to reclaim it?
Why is this so important? -- You'll also learn to maximize your pleasure by discovering exactly what kind of touch your body responds to. This exam identifies what each part looks and feels like, so you can know for yourself and your partner what feels good to you.
The purpose of the exam is not to necessarily get you turned on... although that might happen.
Consider the Sexam as a way to develop your own personal roadmap to pleasure!
Set a sensual mood. Wear a robe for easy access.
Make sure your comfortable and have good lighting. If you feel more comfortable, have a bath first.
Sit with your back against a pillow, knees propped up and your feet on the floor or bed.
Spread your legs; use a hand mirror to see yourself.
Using a diagram as your guide A New View Of A Woman's Body , begin to identify each of the following parts of your vulva:
* Inner Labia
* Outer Labia
Explore with different sensations:
Note the texture and colour of the skin of each part.
If you'd like a more "slick" feeling, add a little lube as you touch.
You may want to experiment by using different props to touch yourself with. For instance: a vibrator, feather, or any object you think you may respond to.
Using a finger, stroke each small area lightly. Keep track of what area and stroke feels best to you.
Mark a photocopied diagram with numbers 1 (no sensitivity) to 5 (extremely sensitive) for each area you touch.
Note that in addition to being highly pleasurable, extreme sensitivity may also mean that the area is uncomfortable to touch.
Explore your Clitoris:
Move the hood of the clitoris back and forth over the glans.
Apply different types of pressure.
Pay attention to the fleshy area that surrounds the clitoris too.
Explore your PC muscle: Your PC muscle is the muscle you flex when you urinate. When you flex it purposely you are performing "Kegel" exercises. Exercising you PC has many benefits -- it can make orgasms more intense, childbirth easier, and improve bladder control.
Place 2 fingers in the outer third of the vagina.
Try tightening your PC muscles (also known as Kegel exercises). Do this with two fingers inside.
Attempt to "suck in" your fingers into your vagina by pulling in with your muscles.
Try to force them out by bearing down.
Explore your Vagina:
Use a lubed speculum to insert into your vagina (cheap, plastic ones are easy to purchase).
Point a flashlight into your vagina, so you can see your cervix in the mirror.
Explore your Anus:
Move to your anus. Note colour, tightness etc...
Experiment by inserting a lubed finger or specially designed anal toy.
This is also a great practice for you and your lover to try out as well. Now, you can be sure he or she knows exactly what pleases you - no more excuses.
Make a rule to wait a couple of hours after the exam to have sex. This allows you both to make the most of the exam's educational benefits.
Follow the same suggestions as above and be sure to take turns exploring.
Don't touch one another at the same. Each of you should focus solely on one another.
Communicate what feels good and what doesn't.
Respect your partner. If a particular touch doesn't feel good, move on to something else.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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