Our expert says:
This is of course more of a moral and etiquette question than a truly psychological one. As Kernel wisely says, if the positions were reversed, you'd find such news painful, but you'd probably want to know it. You are not ab out to ruin anyone's life --- his wife, by choosing to carry on an afair, has done that. They shouldn't blame the lightning-rod for the lightning. They are highly likely to be found out sometime, before long, one way or another.
How to tell him may be more of a question. I'd tend to go the route kernel suggests --- to ask how his wife is, in the usual way, and to remark that it's odd, you've often seen her at the restaurant where you need to dine clients, but haven't had the chance to speak to her there. You didn't recognize the guy she was with, perhaps a family member or other old friend. In other words you fairly lightly reveal the facts, without emphasizing the conclusions you have drawn.
He can choose whether to recognize the obvious implications or not, and whether to ask his wife to explain this.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.