Posted by: Concerned Sister | 2007/11/28

Sister vs Helper

I live with my sister, 2 kids and a helper. when my helper came to llive with me last year October, she was the perfect thing one could have ever come across, she cleaned very well, prepared supper so that when i come back from work my kids would have eaten, washed the dishes, she was perfect.

On the other side my sister was working, then in June she resigned from work, still do not know the reason, then i learned that she is pregnant. I was so angry i even chased her to go back home that i did not understand how can she resign yet she is pregnant, who is going to look aftetr her and her baby.

THe BIGGEST problem i am having is that both my sister and helper are so lazy, they sit around the whole day watching TV, my house is so dirty, my wardrobe is messed up, i come back from work they have not cooked, when i asked my sister will tell me cook the meat i will cook pap, the helper just keeps quite. when i talk to her or ask her something she pulls faces.

I am so sick and tired with this living arrangement, at the weekend i am going to send my sister packing, sh must just go back home i cannot work and they sit around doing nothing the whole day. As for the helper i am also going to tell her if she is not prepared to improve her work, when she goes hme in ecember she must not bother coming back Jan,

I tell you people do not appreaciate the help that they get, its like its a must you should help them. As for my sister i have helped her so many times and still she does not see.

wooooo i feel mush better after venting out.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

In the recent situation you describe, it's not clear to me who the "helper" is supposed to be helping, aor who she actually is helping, if anyone ? It sounds like you are making perfectly sensible decisions. If your sister is unhelpful even to herself, ungreateful and not contributing anything to the house-work ( many women have no choice but to work until the last possible moment, at home and at work, when they are pregnant ) ; and many women need a good job, and wouldn't expect to be paid and housed and left to just watch television all day.
Reinforcing your sister's assumption that everyone else must work for her and solve her problems, is no actual help to her, apart from being unfair to you.
As Hope* sas, just be sure you follow all the proper procedures regarding the "helper", so she can't cause more problems for you. Be sure you warn her properly and in writing, and record what she is and is not doing, and seek proper labour law advice.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/11/28

You are quite right, why should you work and still come home to a filthy mess. Your sister should go back home to have her baby. As far as the helper is concerned, you will have to follow the correct procedure of letting her go as per the law. She could go to the CCMA with unfair dismissal charges. You could possibly end up having to pay her a few months salary. Maybe you should post the labour lawyer about her.

Reply to Hope*

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