Posted by: ME | 2009/10/12



i have a sister inlaw that acts asif she is her brothers wife and recently we had an argument about where we want to live and she is not pleased with our decision. She is always interfering. I dont like her she is a bitter person to know.She has no real friends.She is very intelligent and insults me when i dont know what she is talking about infront of my can i deal with this bcos my husband is just not worried.

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Our expert says:
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Obviously you need to discuss this calmly with your husband --- how does he feel about this ? Is he really not at all woried by the behaviour you decribe ? Remind him that he is marired to you and not to her, and that it would be good for your marriage to move somewhere where it is inconvenient for her to visit or to continue interfering.
Remembering Kristen's excellent quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, whose husband was unfaithful to her, recognize how your SIL both IS inferior ( as is everyone who feels the need to put other people down ) and must feel that way, such that she feels so anxious to try to make others seem ledss than her. Deny her the pleasure she seeks by not allowing her to make you feel bad, and treating her comments as though they were just tiresome, or bad jokes, and even ignore themmcompletely where this is possible.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kristen | 2009/10/12

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt. We all have certain things that we' re good at. I am sure there are many things that you' re great at that your SIL is' nt. I don' t think you should learn stuff and try to outsmart her - those are the things she' s good at - let it be. I know it can be annoying but try to spend as less time with her as possible - you really dont need people like her in your life. The fact that she doesnt have real friends should tell her something. The decisions you and your husband make isnt any of her concern. Tell that to her in a decent way and if she still persists get your husband to set the boundaries.

Reply to Kristen
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/12

Start learning and reading up on things she wont know and make her look stupid. Learn a few quotes to counter her insults. Play up your strong points. Move as far away as possible from her. Your husband married you, not her.

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