Our expert says:
Obviously someone who steals for a living and chooses to be a drug addict, is bad news for anyone sensible. And someone living with a girlfriend with whom he had fathered a daughter is hardly free to form a new and sincere and promising relationship.
Maybe in retrospect it wasn't wise to have become so active in fighting her battles for her, as that didn't encourage her to develop her own battle-fighting ( and avoiding ) skills. This may have given the impression of you being a control freak, even if you were only being sensible and caring.
Apparently the new guy soon showed his true colours, and she probably felt ashamed to admit to you that you were right about him. But she apparently continued over-reacting to your attempts to be caring. I['d worry about whether her fondness for sleazy company and night-drinking could include neglecting her child, for the child's sake ( and eventually child welfare might need to become involved ) but otherwise she is an adult and adults are allowed to be stupid.
Its good to hear that you have been managing well on your own.
But is it reall wise for you to have decided to cut her out of your life, and to ignore her attempt to apologise and reconcile ?
As an abstract question, maybe you do deserve an apology, but these seldom arise in real life. And indeed she has written you a long apology by SMS, which you seem to ignore/ Isn't that an apology ? Wouldn'\t it be worth meeting, maybe on neutral territory, and talking together ?
YOu would never have gone through all those ordeals with her, if you didn't basically love her very much. And remember that people who have suffered a horrible trauma, as you all have in the past, do sometimes become more erratic and less sensible afterwards. Her behaviour was foolish and wrong, but that isn't uncommon in people who have suffered such a terrible trauma.
What do you really want for your future ? To have lost a sister you love and annoyed your family who will see you as mean and unyielding ? Or to reconcile and find a more fruitful way to relate to each other, even with the assistance of a counsellor if necessary ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.