Posted by: Melanie | 2004/09/22


It was my b-day this week and my b/f could not buy me anything because the financial side of things are not looking to good, I was not angry about this at all, but now that pay-day is this week, I asked him if we could do something for my b-day, maybe go out or have friends over, he said he does not want to go out, I must go by myself and he is not in the mood for a party at home either. I feel terrible, we only have b-days once a year and I feel like he just is not interested in mine. I always make an effort for his b-day. I feel so rejected. Should I worry or am I being silly?

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Our expert says:
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melanie, Well, things are financially difficult for you both right now, and he may have various stresses at work, too ---maybe he genuinely doesn't feel like sincerely celebrating at this time. Do you need to go out to celebrate what ought not to be an occasion for pending, but for finding a pleasant way to be together and enjoy loving that doesn't cost anything ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Keny | 2004/09/22

May be he is planning a surprise party do not jump to conclusion talk about it, ask him what you have asked us.

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Posted by: Chelle | 2004/09/22

You're not being silly - unless your boyfriend has always made it clear that he doesn't think birthdays are a big deal - and that would include his own birthday.
I would also feel the way you do if that happened to me. You should talk to him about how you feel, and see whether this makes a difference to his response. Don't argue with him about it. Say to him that you're feeling rejected because you feel that he hasn't celebrated your birthday with you.
It's possible that he feels bad for not having bought you something and so now wants to pretend its not important, but you need to talk about it.

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