Our expert says:
I suppose it can indeed be very distressing to be stuck on the receiving end of "the silent treatment". But in a real sense, this only works if you insist to yourself that it is imperative that the other person talk to you about whatever it is that is in dispute. The more you try to get them to respond to you, or just sit around looking miserable, the more satisfaction they get from doing this.
On the other hand, the more you appear unconcerned, bored, and uninterested in what they might have to say, the more frustrating and unsatisfying the tactic is for the silent one.
But also, one must look at the broader picture. If your bf is really so easily upset, and so childish in "punishing" you for displeasing him, does he really deserve to continue being your bf at all ?
You seem to be asking appropriate questions, about why you choose to remain with him, but you don't report giving yourself good answers to your good questions.
Its hardly surprising that he scorns psychologists, who would too easily see right through him. But its not good enough for a psychologist to tell you to leave this Lump, but to discuss with you HOW you are going to leave and help you to follow through with your decisions. There's no "psycho movie" controlling you - you are choosing to allow an immature and selfish man to control you, and until you really genuinely change your mind about that, he will remain in charge. Of course you are not the abusive person, except in the sense that you are colluding in the abuse of yourself.
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