Our expert says:
Very difficult to identify 'signs of an affair'. Some people would say that this is probably what it happening just on the changes to your intimacy; but you need to consider other information too. What is the hearsay information - are people literally telling you that they have seen something? What happens if you ask him about the changes you have noticed; how does he respond? What is it that has made you suspicious for a long time; is there other information? Sadly affairs are a reality and whilst I can't say that what you have described is clearly a sign of an affair; it could be. It could also be something else - eg. stress, depression, feeling that he can't please you sexually, frustration/anger if your sexual interest has reduced over the 9 years (which often does happen, by the way). Before you speak to him, think about how you would respond if he is having an affair, what would you do?
Sorry I can't be more help than that...it is not always as simple as a cluster of signs...but sometimes it is! If he denies it, you are still left with uncertainty - how will you handle that?
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