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Question
Posted by: Insecure | 2006/07/24

Signs of having an affair

Dear CyberShrink,

I think my husband may be having an affair. He has been working very late hours due to a project that has been happening at work, he has been coming home at about 12:00 - 01:00 in the morning. I have trusted him with that as I feel as we are married he deserves to be trusted.
But recently my instinct has been telling me otherwise. He got a call early on Saturday morning at about 02:00 to say that he needs to reset something critical at work. I asked him to let me know when he got to work safe but he didn't. I tried to call him to check he was ok but he did not answer (he said his phone was on silent). I phoned the control room to see if he got there ok and the guard told me that there was no one there. Could the guard be misinformed? He came home after 2 hours.

About a month ago he said he was working late and he was going to get a takeaway, the other day, I found a slip for a restuarant on that particular date. The amount wasn't allot, so I can only assume that the bill was for 2 people. He has lied about a lunch appointment before but I trusted his excuse.

I can't bring this up with him, he wouldn't admit it anyway!

What are the signs of someone having an affair? What do I need to look out for? A marraige is supposed to be built on trust, how can I make sure that he isn't seeing someone else?

Please help CyberShrink, I really need some advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm sure that other readers can advise, based on their own experiences, about what other signs might suggest an affair. This is beyond my professional expertise. Have you calmly sat down, at a suitable time, and asked him about this ? Maybe first, ask about this special project, with real interest in what it is, what chal;lenges it has, and what work it entails for him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Reality | 2006/07/24

Usually if they are having an affair they may feel guilty and start doing things to compensate his guilt. like take u out to dinner, do little things like eat what you want to eat for dinner when usually he argues. little things;there are always little signs. for your sake i hope this is not the case and your gut feel is out of wack. good luck

Reply to Reality
Posted by: Sg | 2006/07/24

Always look out for a change in routine,this is usually the first sign.
A woman's intuition is normally very good,so follow up on your doubts.Try to find out if he really has to work these long hours by asking in a round about fashion from someone else at his company.
Check his phone records as well.
You should be able to talk him as well.
In need hire a detective to follow him if only for 2-3 nights,you will quickly get your answer.

Reply to Sg

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