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Question
Posted by: ash | 2003/03/17

shy boyfriend

I'm gay and met this great guy on the internet. I really like him and he likes me. The problem is that he is VERY shy. And i'm a shy person as well. There is a lot of uncomfortible silences when we are alone. He is not a very talkative person and I dont know what to talk to him about. (i already know a lot about him so i cant ask questions about him)
I'm scared that this will have a negative effect as he might become bored with me.

Any advice ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear ash,
The internet is a great way for shy people to meet each other, but as you have found, this doesn't necessarily mean that they'll have fun when they get together realtime. Dont the two of you have any shared interests ? In hobbies, work, studies, politics, movies, music, whatever ? If you both have problems with shyness, either or both might want to consider seeing a counsellor to improve scial skills, self-confidence, and reduce the shyness.
But if you really like each other, the silences don't needo to be uncomfortable, and he should be no more likely to become bored with you, as you with him. And it's as much his responsibility to make conversation and make you feel comforable, as vice versa.
If nothing else, maybe start talking about your different experiences of shyness, and awkwardness in making conversation ?

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