Posted by: ANON | 2008/05/23

Should I tell?

Dear CS

At work we are a group of 5 ladies doing a weight loss program together. We weigh at work and have all our info on a password protected spreadsheet on the intranet. Our boss, a Afrikaans man, has taken an interest in what we do, and has worked out different stats on how effective our program is. He also motivates us on a daily basis. Last week I had to go to a meeting with him. My husband also works at the same company. I had to leave at a specific time, and when my husband phoned to ask when I am leaving, I said I am just waiting for my boss, then we are going. There were other people involved in this meeting as well, since it had to do with our job profiles. I am on manager level and my husband on supervisor level, one level below me. The moment I said to my husband I am waiting for my boss, he totally lost it. He accused me of having an affair with my boss, and the rest of the Friday evening as well as the whole Saturday I had to endure his verbal abuse of my "affair", and he even went so far as to tell me how sick he is of me talking about Hannon Bothma (Glam Guru) since I went to one of his demonstrations!!! He now believes I am losing weight for boss, meantime I've been on Weighless for 2 years and have lost 31 kilos already before we started on this challenge at work!
My question is now: should I tell my boss about my husband's accusations, since they see each other almost daily, or should I just try to survive this one? The poor man (my boss) is a real koek, and I absolutely have no intention of doing anything with him! We are not even real friends, he is my boss and I am one of his subordinates.
This actaully is only the tip of the iceberg of my problems with him, but here I really need some advice. I am hardly talking to anyone at work because of this, not even to the ladies who are with me in this weight challenge.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I also don't think this is something to discuss with your boss at this stage, as it seems to be a problem arising from excessive jealousy within your husband, rather than from anything between you and your boss. At a calm moment, try to persuade him to join you in marriage counselling, explaining that this is because you so value the marriage and want to sort out any concerns either of you might have, for the benefit of both of you

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Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2008/05/24

Losing weight means looking good, more confidence plus the fact that you are superior in rank to your husband could just mean that your husband is jealous and perhaps worried that you will leave him when you are thin. Counselling is great if he will agree but if not you still need to talk to him about the whole matter calmly and assure him of your committment to your marriage. Good luck.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: Missouri | 2008/05/23

Dont discuss this matter with your boss - this is between you and your hubby. He is probably feeling insecure cos with you loosing weight you are probably looking really good and hes afraid that you might leave him. Talk to him and if need be, go to a marriage counsellor together to sort this out.

Reply to Missouri
Posted by: visitor | 2008/05/23

There is nothing to tell your boss. I wouldnt say anything. But you should never have involved your boss in this weight loss thing anyway - he is your superior and this opens up the relationship to a personal level

Reply to visitor

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