Our expert says:
Gosh what a lot of VERY long questions today !
Its obviously unfair if your husband claimed to be "shocked" that you became pregnant, when h had been part of the decision for you to come off the pill. And even if "shocked" it shouldn't have caused any major problem. For him to have done this twice, is simply ridiculous on his part. What indeed is his problem ?
You seem to be describing and emotionally immature guy who is proving to be a really lousy father, and apparently can't be bothered about this. If you did separate, he would still be legally liable to make a full financial contribution to the care of the children until they are adults, and the Maintenance Court would enforce this. Divorce isn't necessarily damaging to kids, and may be less so than having an ostentatiously uncaring dad around some of the time and absent at other times.
Could he be persuaded to join you in marriage counselling, to see if this could be worked out ?
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