Posted by: NN | 2008/07/02

Should I stay or should I go????

I know you here the same problem everyday, but I just need some advise as I am an emotional wreck at the moment. Yesterday was my one year anniversary with my bf. We were previously together for 2 years, broke up for 2 years and now back together for a year. The past 2 months have been absolute hell. All we seem to do is fight over everything. We both now have short tempers and get upset over everything. I must say that the past 2 months have been hard on me and I do not know what to do. My bf never texts me anymore – he used to text me in the mornings to say that I must have a good day. Or if I text him in the mornings I do not get a reply. He does not call me during the day – I have to do it. He now plays golf all weekend, goes on guys weekends, is out 3 times a night. He says it is all work stuff. He says he does not have time during the day for me as he is so busy at work that he does not even have time to go to the toilet. Yet he has time to go buy golf clubs and go for lunch. And when I call him during the day he says that he is having a quiet day – and yet he still cannot make an effort to call or text me. Last time we made love was 2 weeks ago and seeing yesterday was our anniversary- we did not even make love. The past 8 months we make love once every 2 weeks. And I do not mean to sound vain but I am good looking, open minded, I look after myself and my body – so I do not know why he is being like this. So looking at all of this my mind is starting to think that there is something up. But I am so emotional at the moment that if I think about him cheating on me then I would probably loose it. Or maybe I am just in denial. The reason the 2 of us got back together was because we love each other very much and we want to get married one day. But after a year things seem to be getting nowhere and it hurts so much because I really wanted things to work out. I have been good to him and patient. But I just cannot carry on like this anymore. After a year things should actually be great. Do I stay and wait for things to get better or do I rather leave and let go of the person that was once the man of my dreams?

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Our expert says:
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I don't really believe in just hanging around in a relationship hoping that things will magically get better. If you can't sort things our agreeably as a couple talking it over together, then see a relationship counsellor and work with expert help to do so.

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Our users say:
Posted by: NN | 2008/07/02

Well i tried doing that and it just got worse. But i also do not want to be the one who does not make an effort. No matter how he treats me, i never want him to turn around and say i was not making an effort. i will try til I cannot try anymore. At least then i know that i did my part and that it did not work out because of my lack of effort in the end.

Reply to NN
Posted by: yada786 | 2008/07/02

Well to be honest with you ,i know exactly what you mean....but the only way that you will find out what he really wants if you keep your distance without arguing ,just don't say anything just stay away ,you take time out what he does , cause he's useto you calling him see if he'll react if you have that nonchalant me girlfriend he'll start running....

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