Posted by: TTM | 2007/05/29

Should I stay or should I go?

I am totally in love with a woman and we have been having a sexual relationship for the past 6 months. She says she "feels" and "loves" me but that she will never commit. I was ok with that. I am just tired of always wondering if she is seeing other people. She gets mad if I meet other people and then she just "end" this "thing" we have....

When we are together it feels like she really does want me there and that she really does care....should I stay or should I go?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi again TTM, good to hear from you.

Maybe you need to have a chat about two key words: 'commit' and 'never'. What do these words mean to each of you? What exactly do you want from her - an assurance that she won't have sex with anyone else? And what does she mean by 'never'? Never EVER?

Have your very open conversation and really hear what she says and how she feels. And then decide whether there's a future in this for you.

Please keep posting TTM.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/05/30


I think you are to focused on what you want in this relationship rather then just enjoying the ride and taking things one step at a time.

We all know gay relationships are different from "normal" relationships because of dear old society and the views on same-sex-relationships.

That alone has it's own pressures on both partners in such a relationship and thus the old fashioned, meet, like, fall-in-love, cant-live-without-u, let's get married, scenario does not apply in this case YET.

Your partner's "commitment" could very much depend on all these "out-side" factors. 6 months is not a long time to get to know someone and all that comes with that someone.

Have you met her family, are you guys out and about, was she in any kind of relationship before (hetero or otherwise)? How does she react to homophobia and how do you react to it?

You may feel free and open, she may not, the list is endless.

Yes gay people also want to feel loved and be with someone and feel happy and unthreatened in a relationship but it will only work if BOTH feel the same way about the situation.

I think you need to get to know your partner much better then just loving each other for the moment.


Reply to Nikki
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/05/30

TTM, I'm no expert on this, but the 'hot' - 'cold' syndrom 'thing' that you so called have going, is going to kill you off slowly but surely. You're already questioning it...aren't you? Sounds far too convenient to me. Six months down the line, and its just a 'thing' for your other half...nah, that wouldn't get my bones going. Sorry, but you're going to have to decide on this one. Just my five cents. Cheers

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Some girl | 2007/05/29

Eish if I were u I will leave bec there is alot other ppl that will commit to u. But it is ur choice

Good luck

Reply to Some girl

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