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Question
Posted by: Mpho | 2006/04/11

Should I quit?

I'm 35 old widow with two kids 4 girl,13boy, dating a 44yrs old widower guy with three kids. At first it was very exciting to meet a man with the same experiences. He introduced me to his kids and i did the same. Now, there's another kids in the picture from outside his marriage, the kids are now visiting him and he did not inform me of their visit. I usually visits him on weekends but now it seems things are not the same because he does not want me to visit, he's telling me that the children need to bond and I won't be getting his attention if i visit while they are still there. He even went to the extend of hiding our photos in his bedroom. U know, this guy promised me so many things like, marriage and other staff and I have been so supporting towards his kids because they lost their mother. Now I'm suffering because of the other kids that he made while he was still married to late wife. But what i don't understand is that he keeps on telling me that he loves very must and i shud understand his position. He also HIV+ and I'm HIV-, but i found that out later in the relationship but i was still supportive. I told him I miss him and I also need his time as much as the kids. What should i do? I'm trying too hard?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds fishy, doesn't it ? What makes you think he is really going to be ready for re-mariage, or even for a stable and loving continuing relationship ? And for him not to have told you that he is HIV* and to have left you to discover this yourself, is also disturbing. Maybe you are indeed trying too hard --- is he worth all that effort ? It doesn't sound as though he is seriously interested in committing to you. Things like hiding the photos are deeply suspicious

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tango | 2006/04/11

Hi Mpho,

I do not know why but I smell a rat. Maybe he is not widowed and these visiting kids belong to his wife. Check everything out. Are there not other close friends that can verify for you? Sorry - I am by nature suspicious! He should not be hiding your photos.

Reply to Tango

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