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Question
Posted by: Mom | 2004/12/21

Should I put my baby in a creché?

Hi,

My baby is seven months old today, and even before she was born my husband and I always said that we would put her in a creché when she's about 1 and a half years old. But we are starting to feel that we may need to do it sooner.

I know about babies getting stranger anxiety and I also know that it's just a phase and it goes away, but my baby has had it ever since birth. And it is probably my husband and my fault. She stays at my mother in law during the day when we work, but my mother in law also lives with us, so she never really leaves the house or see any strangers. The only people she sees during the day is me, my husband, my mother and sister in law, and that;s it. On weekends she sees my parents, but doesn't get in touch with any other people really, and when we do go out the day, or go for coffee at a shop, and someone wants to speak to her, not even pick her up yet, she starts crying.

My husband and I are therefore thinking that maybe we should put her in a creché from January month, so that she can learn to be with other people, to be with children her age. I also think that if we don't do it now, it;ll be even harder for her to adjust when she's older (a year and a half). If we do it now, it might be easier.

I also know that the teacher at the creché we went to look at are trained teachers from universities, so they will know exactly how to stimulate her, because we always do the same things, the same routine every day, so she will be more stimulated and might even talk faster or walk faster...

I am just afraid of doing it because about 2 weeks ago, she had to go to the hospital and the first night they didn't want me to sleep over, when I got there the next morning her eyes were swollen up from all the crying, it looked almost as if someone hit her eyes, and it was all red from the crying. It took us almost half the day to just get her to be with us the way she's normally with us.

I am very afraid, if I do put her in a creché that it's going to disadvantage her somehow and i'm afraid that she might not cope. I do not want to make things worse for her, but I also don't want to bring up my daughter in the same environment in the same routine every day and in the future see that she's selvish and pulled back into herself, because she's too afraid of people around her.

Please anybody, give me advise on what to do, because I know as a mother how important of an issue it is not to mess things that are extremely important in a child's live and might determine how she will be the rest of her life, up.

Thank you ;)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Mom,
Firstly, relax, it's very highly unlikely that as good a mother as you aere, will mess up your child's life ! As you see from the range of responses from other readers, atitudes and experiences differ, and it is impossible to predict with any certainty how your child will react to creche, other than that it is likely she will be troubled and tearful at first. It will probably be beneficial. I find only an occasional child seems unduly sensitive to picking up infections from other kids. And indeed, there is growing evidence that a child who is brought up in too sterile an environment, with too little exposure to the ordinary mild infections and germs of other kids, may be more likely to develop later problems like asthma.
And remember she is likely to be very senstive to and responsive to, your own emotuions. IF you are feeling guilty and very anxious about leaving her at the creche, she is more likely to be more upset. Relax, it'll be good for both of you. As Juice says, babies are generally remarkably flexible and adaptable, even if they don't always welcome change

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Juice | 2004/12/21

Hey there. Babies are very strange. My daughter has been in creche for two months now. She is 15 months. All the time she's been looked after by my mother. I and my husband also had that sad uncomfortable feeling. We called the nursery everday for the whole week the first time. The assured us the little one was fine, but after that week, she began to be terribly ill, and we took her from doctor to doctor. She got ill because she worried everytime it was morning cos she knew where we were taking her and you could see she was panicing, but the second month got better, she learned very quickly to pick one of the teachers and enjoyed to be looked after by her. But to boost you baby's immune system against germs from other kids and the way the prepare food at the creche is always different from your way. So always have and immune system booster, I use Vi-dayline (no prescription required), and pack her at least one meal in a day that you prepared. And babies are very clever, and adopt quickly to a different environment..its okay to worry...all caring parents do

Reply to Juice
Posted by: Just watching | 2004/12/21

Hi there,

Mine was at a creche from the age of 4 months and she will be starting school next year. Granted they do get sick - their immunities are being built up. Invest in a good multi vitamin. Just ensure that the creche is a good creche and there is no window dressing and the staff to child ratio is good. Children adapt to changes far quicker than adults. It will probably take you and your husband a longer time to adapt than your child.

Reply to Just watching
Posted by: IT girl | 2004/12/21

my sister-in-law had to put her one in creche due to work and she is the sweetest little one always running to hug us and is very freindly too, so i think its a good idea, esp for your child to interact with others...

Sister-in-law's one has been sick though too so i would make sure your one has daily vitamins and healty foods to boost babys immune system...

all the best

Reply to IT girl
Posted by: Tash | 2004/12/21

Hi I also had those concerns about my baby but after much thought and not much choice I left him at creche from 4 months old. He is now six and ready to go to grade one. Have not had any problems at the creche

Reply to Tash
Posted by: ***** | 2004/12/21

Hi,think very carefully before you put your kid in a creche.
We have a creche at work & a friend of mines kid is at this creche...his son is about 8 months old & is always sick.His son has been to so many doctors, his been to hospital a few times & finally my friend got fed-up.He then took his son to a specialist who told him to take his child out of the creche & now his no longer sick.His son stays at home with the domestic worker.

Many doctors say that a young child is vulnerable to all the other kids germs etc & thats why they will always be sick.

This is my personal opinion & also many doctors don't recommend you to put your kid in a creche at such a young age.

Think twice 'Mom'

Regards
******

Reply to *****
Posted by: Q | 2004/12/21

Gee you sound desperate, yes it is going to get some use to but she will get setteled quick!! The thing is she needs to interact and get stimulated by the teachers and other kids!!! Not that gran does not do this but yes it helps and after a will she will not whant to stay home!!! It is part of growing up and yes she will cry and yes things will feel diffrant but will they be diffrant??? Nope they will not!!!! Hang in there and do what you feel as mom is the right thing to do, you intuision is normally spot on!!! dont let emmosion cloud your jugment!!! good luck and enjoy your little one!!!

Reply to Q

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