Our expert says:
Let's see what our other readers have to say about this. it sounds as if he wasn't fully "transparent" about the extent of his debts, before he moved in and began to allow you to pay them for him. Who knows how genuine he is or isn't ? He could be a nice guy with absolutely zero talent for finances, or a guy dedicating himself to making you feel good, until you have paid off his debts.
What I don't hear clearly in your story, is to what extent he is really extending himself so as to work off his debts. When you go out together, who pays the evening's bills ? Has he got a second job ( even as a packer at the local supermarket, or whatever ) to get more money to pay off his debts more rapidly ?
And if after all you've already paid, it will still take a further three years to pay off all his debt, how on earth did he ever get into so much debt in the first place ? being dumb with money generally ? Extravagence ? What ?
I'd be concerned about this arrangement, which seems so hugely to his advantage, and not much for yours, except that he makes you feel good. Another man, equally nice to be with, would have insisted on staying apart until he had paid off all his debts, rather than lumbering you with them.
You thoroughly deserve your improved self-esteem, you're obviously an enoprmously kindly and generous person ; but maybe he doesn't deserve all he's getting ?
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