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Question
Posted by: Sipho | 2005/12/07

Should i leave?

Hi guys

Been offered work in the UK. I 'm in the middle of the divorce. I still luv my wife though and our 2 kidz. What are the divorce implications if i leave the country ? Am i going to be prejudiced in any way should i take this option? It's been hard to cope as we have been seperated for 3 mnths with zero access to my kidz. Is running away alwayz the healing option?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Sipho,
I think you need a good local legal opnion on this one. Running away is NEVER the healing option. I would think your absence would make it far more difficult for you to obtain proper visitation rights. Right now, she is not entitled to refuse you access to the kids. Whatever the SMS said, she is NOT allowed, by law, to refuse you access --- the court sees access as for the children's benefit, not hers.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mtombi | 2005/12/07

I dont think that it is a wise idea to leave for the sake of getting over her. You ahev to confront your "ghosts" head on . Unless going to the UK was something you planned all along even before she filed for divorce. Dont make drastic decisions which may have major repercussions . You love your kids, its over between you and your wife. Stay for the sake of your kids but get a good lawyer to formalise the visitation rights. This is not a game and she needs to realise that , irrespective of what happened to the two of you, she must not use the kids. How would you feel not seeing your kids when you miss them. Think carefully about this and dont make irrational decisions. Ask yourself what is the main reason you;d want to go overseas. If its to heal , then that's not a good idea. She must not be the reason why you leave the country. I think she'd love to see you crumbling and dont give her the satisfaction . Take your time and think about it .

Reply to Mtombi
Posted by: Dineo | 2005/12/07

Sipho u sound a nice person - why dont you try to get your wife back?? For the sake of kids pls

Reply to Dineo
Posted by: Sipho | 2005/12/07

Hi NO

I think she wanted a comfortable, victim exit from the marriage. so an sms was a ready surfacing at the time it did was a ready excuse for her to achieve that end.I never cheated on her or anything.i think she wanted out - and everything was manufactured to ensure that she gets a comfortable exit. Aaghhh i 'm no longer hurting about this though...i just want to leave the country for about 2 years and re think my priorities. thanx foe listening though

Reply to Sipho
Posted by: NO | 2005/12/07

Try and get that woman back dude, I dont think she can just want a divorce because of an sms.
Wasn't there more to it ?

Reply to NO
Posted by: NO | 2005/12/07

Try and get that woman back dude, I dont think she can just want a divorce because of an sms.
Wasn't there to it ?

Reply to NO
Posted by: Sipho | 2005/12/07

For the record - i still mantain my kids financially

Reply to Sipho
Posted by: Sipho | 2005/12/07

My wife found an sms on my phone to a lady friend(in the strictest sense of the word) and she blew her gusket - that was about three months ago. She was terribly hurt...hence i 'm not allowed visits. the sms was not suggestive or anything suspicious...it was just a thank you note, i must admit with some emotion.

Reply to Sipho
Posted by: Liz123 | 2005/12/07

Whats the reasone for the "zero access" to the kids?

Reply to Liz123

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