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Question
Posted by: Tee | 2004/10/12

SHOULD I INTERFERE???

My husbands parents are the most despicable people that I have ever met. They have done many terrible things to their own children over the 5 years that we have been married.
Last year they did something terrible to my husband, which involved me and I told them that as far as I was concerned they were history.
I told my husband that it was his parents and I would not interfere with that, he could visit them but they were not welcome in my home.
To cut a very long story short, the mother then told my husband that she has breast cancer.
I made myself make peace with them for my husbands sake.
They came to visit there daughter last week and stayed with us for 3 nights. I listened to them and their evil tongues but kept quiet.
I then questioned her about her breast cancer. It turns out that she had made the whole story up to get her other daughter to feel sorry for them as they owed her a large amount of money and could not pay it back.
Still I did not say anything. Bit my tongue and just said that that was a evil thing to do, she just laughted. On Sunday I took them home.
They live with another daughter, she pays for everything as they are trying to get themselves out of debt. (He drinks and pawns everything). This other daughter has a 9 year old daughter herself. My father in law hates this child because he hates the childs father.
My son and this little girl were running in and out, like children do. All of a sudden he fisted her in the back and she went flying. He then got up and fisted her in the chest, telling her she is a little c....t and he wishes she would f.... off and die.
My husband got up and all hell broke loose.
I took the little girl into the bedroom, she was sobbing her heart out. She told me that her grandad does this to her all the time. He makes her leave the house at 6 in the morning and she can come back in at 6 at night.
It then comes out that he and another daughter (there are 3 daughters) are not on speaking terms because he had "touched" one of her daughters breasts.
We left. I phoned my sister in law yesterday and told her that she must stick up for her daughter or she would end up the same emotional mess as she (the mother is). I was basically told to butt out, that when she does stick up for her daughter the whole house erupts into a swearing screaming match.
I am not used to this sort of thing and I cannot stop thinking of this little girl.
Please advise me what to do, close my eyes and pretend I did not see and hear this or interfere and cause more family drama (which if it would help this little girl I realy dont mind).
My husband has been brought up by these people and although he does not talk much about them, I know that his childhood was horrific. He says he will support me with whatever I decide to do.
Do I phone welfare/schools? What do I do here for the best????
Some advice please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Shouldn't the sexually abusive grandfather be reported to the Polic Child Protection services for investigation and prosecution ? And to the Child Welfare authorities. The child told you of her abuse by him, and you all witnessed his physical abuse. Sounds like these truly are evil people, and deserving of no consideration or spport at all. I wonder whether the children ( your husband and his sibs ) were abused in any way during their childhood, as they seem to have grown up with the warped assumption that these dreadful people are entitled to do as they please.
Do what you can to protect the child, the grandparents deserve no protection whatever.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Inc | 2004/10/13

Dear Tee.... I have to agree here.
this man is a danger to the children... he should be reported and in my opinion, arrested. I don't know how your hubby will react to this, but surely he realizes that this behaviour is wrong. What he is doing to these kids is damaging to their little characters. You need to protect a child... as a responsible adult.. don't put the blinders on... your son may also fall victim if nothing is done!

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Art | 2004/10/12

Tee , CS and kay are right call child line

Reply to Art
Posted by: Kay | 2004/10/12

Pick up the phone and dial child line or any other help organisation you can think of. If something should ever happen to this child and you never did anything you wouldnt be able to live with it. I would rather be wrong and have the situation thouroughly checked out (and damn the family hysterics) than be right and not have done anything about it. From your posting you seem to have reason to be concerned. do the right thing.

Reply to Kay

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