Our expert says:
He sounds very like an alcoholic, and should recognize if he says he has blackouts and can't remember what he did the previous evening when drunk, that is a strong sign of alcoholism, and he needs treatment for this, rehab, AA, the works. If he can take enough time off work to drink, he can take enough time for counselling, and at the least marriage counselling would be a useful start. His promises cannot be taken as serious indicators of what he will do --- they may indicate how he feels, and what he would wisdh to do, but the evidence of his past behaviour shows that this is not what he will do UNLESS he gets proper expert help and works hard and sincwerely with the right experts to get this all right.
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