Our expert says:
No, you definitely should not.
Its not easy to fully understand your message. It sounds as though your father was definitely psychologically abusive, but maybe not actually sexually abusive, though you accused him of that ? Maybe you feel somewhat guilty about that, but its ironic if he got punished for what he didn't do, while not punished for what he did do. And then died of the results of his own bad habits.
Anyhow. good that you lost the fake friends, and it would be good if you gradually became more open to some more real friends. Vampirism isn't actually good for one, though an excellent way of scaring or upsetting other people. So you in a sense try to scare the scary world ? You have done well to stop the drugs, and lose the dealers and pushers.
There is absolutely no need for you to go mad, or to be useless. You have begun well in several ways, and can become more sane and more useful, if you choose. Forget ideas of vengeance, egtowards the bullies --- it would only sink you to their level, and bottom-feeders sould be left alone. And it is very much less satisfying than you'd think.
So, here have been some straight answers. It sounds as though you have not received the help you need and deserve. Arrange to see a good shrink asap for a re-assessment and further help with whatever problems you jointly identify. You dont't need to choose to continue to be a victim of the bad people you have met in the past --- you can rise above that and make a stronger and happier new future.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.