Posted by: Teen | 2009/03/26

Should I act on my feelings?

I have been married for 4 years, sometimes happily and then other times not so happy with 2 kids, 2,5yrs &  10mnths. We have friends, now married for 2 years, which we have known for the past 14 years. Lately we have not really kept into contact with each other until last weekend were we visited until the early hours of the morning. Since that day I cannot get this friend out of my mind. I keep thinking about him, I am dreaming of him and dreams on cheating on my husband with him sexually. When I know I will see him somewhere my heart even beats at a faster pace, I feel like a teenager again. Before my husband and I got romantically involved, me and this friend had a relationship (about 15yrs ago), but it was never serious. His wife is one of my best friends. I know this is wrong –  I mean this is in a sense cheating on my husband, but I feel that he might feel the same, because everytime we would chat he would greet me and say love you and when replying to a simple sms he would end with the word ‘ love’ . He is also very touchy when I stand closeby. Maybe the reason for this is that I like the attention I am getting. I also have not had any sexual relations with my husband since my daughter was born. I just don’ t feel like doing it, until last weekend, and now I cannot get this friend out of my mind. I am even thinking of telling him this, but what if he feels the same and it turns into actual cheating? Is this the beginning of the end for me and my husband?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Come on --- this is fantasy, not reality --- you are very free to chose NOT to daydream about this guy, who is surely much less marvellous in reality than he is within your fantasies. You know this is wrong, and could lead you into further wrongness. As maria says, focus instead on deepening your relationship with your husband --- with the assistance of a couples counsellor, if needs be. And try to avoid spending more time with this couple, make certain you never spend any time with him alone, and remember the difference between love and lust

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2009/03/26

It' s only the beginning of the end if you let it be. Move your focus from your friend to your husband. Think about things you used to do together and enjoy, why you fell in love with him and married him, the good times you had. Then try to recreate some of the good times again. So maybe you can' t go out to the movies because of the kids, but you can rent a dvd and have popcorn and cooldrink while watching it. Get a babysitter if possible and spend some time together. Connect again, don' t break up your family because you' re in lust.

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