Posted by: Anonymous and needing help | 2009/05/12

Short fuse

My partner and I have had our fair share of ups and downs but lately I find I have such a short fuse and I do things I would NEVER have dreamt about doing before. I feel as though I have lost self control.

On Saturday I called him up when I knew he couldnt talk and was surrounded by other people and I just let rip. I didnt care that he may have been in an uncomfortable situation I couldnt bottle up for one second longer. I knew to get him alone I would have to have waited until Monday so I tried to - and then I exploded.

He says that all our conversations now have the potential to trigger me off. I feel that there is so much that has happened and brewing away under the surface that it doesnt take much to cause an eruption. We have talked things through but the calm doesnt stay for long.

Is it time to make a clean break?

A huge thank you in advance.

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Our expert says:
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In the situaton you describe, you COULD have waited before confronting him ( you had waited till then ) and maybe deliberately chose a situation and time when he was helpless and could not respond. That may have felt immediately emotionnlly satisfying, but made certain the event could not be useful to either of you. Surely this is not a great time to decide to break off with him, rather than to first break of with this irrational and unhelpful irritability and anger. See a psychologist for an assessment, frankly telling him/her about all that has been happening, and work to regain control over this temper, and of the situation, and work towards making a less impulsive and more thoughtful decision about the future of this relationship

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