Our expert says:
I wonder if you maybe "came out" a bit too soon ? Because premature decsions that imply a committment to a certain life-style, which you may then feel awkward about changing, may not be the wisest choice. It sounds as if you had a few unsatisfying relationships with men, and concluded that the whole species was not one you wanted to mate with. Then you apparently decided ( you don't describe being led by strong sexual feelings for women ) to switch to an assumption that you would be lesbian, and announced the results, ( like a general election ?) Then you had a disasterous "nightmare" of a first lesbian relationship, and a second that is fraught with problems -- but apparently without concluding that women, too, were unsuitable for you, for a sexual and intimate relationship.
Maybe it's more important to look at the nature of these failed relationships, perhaps with a gay/lesbian friendly therapist, to see what you can learn about yourslf and the reasons why the relationships have failed and proved unsatisfying --- that could, surely, form a better basis for deciding where you're heading in a relationship sense ?
Isn't the true situation one in which you have found, to your dismay, that relationships, with man, woman or cat, are complex and difficult ; need exprience and working on, and can then be satisfying ?
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