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Question
Posted by: confused | 2004/10/29

sexual fantacy

I am a 32 years old female and married for almost a year. I met a woman recently at the gym and can't stop think about her. I fantacise about kissing and making love to her. This is the first time in my life!! What is going on with me??????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree with nina. It's hard for any of us to tell at this distance, especially to guess why this should have had a sudden onset. Most normal people are not 100 % straight or 100% gay, but to some extent, however minor, bisexual, so it isn't unusual for basically heterosexual men or women to have occasional fantasies about a member of the same sex. Wildberry has some intriguingly creative suggestions to consider !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wildberry | 2004/10/30

There is nothing wrong with you and you are not confused. It's called curiosity and physical attraction. How you act on it is the key.

If you like the shoes I'm wearing you'll probably want to know how they feel. Same thing here. It doesn't mean that you'll ask me if you could try on my shoes.

A nice body, nice smile, nice perfume, etc. is not limited to gender. You might look at say, Angelina Jolie's lips and wonder how they would kiss. So what?

To avoid going to the gym will not answer your question, there'll just be another woman at another place at another point in time that might tickle your fancy.

Take your husband to the gym and show him the woman. Get his opinion of her and talk about it. He might just find it a turn-on, depending on the type of relationship you have.

I'm a lesbian and I often fantasise about men, believe it or not. But luckily my partner and I have an open relationship, therefore I could tell her about my fantasy. She thought nothing strange of it and we've since turned it into a role-playing game when the mood takes us. Maybe your husband will agree to be this female and wear your gym clothes for an hour or so... He might even come forth with some of his own fantasies.

Fantasies has no relevance to faithfulness. You cannot help what you feel, only how to act on those feelings. And what better way than with the person you trust and love!

Reply to Wildberry
Posted by: rain cloud | 2004/10/29

mmm, you are confused...

You are married, what are you doing looking at "other" people for? Sounds more like lustfull feelings than anything else and thats not good honey...

I would seriously avoid going to that gym for a whlie until you can control those thoughts ect... be a faithful wife and life will be far less complicated!

Reply to rain cloud
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/10/29

hi there

i suppose some fantacizing is ok - i sure most people just close their eyes instead of stairing and the ceiling, but if you are morally against such things then you have to somehow find a way to control the thoughts

draw the line where you are morally comfortable or els your feel quitly and thats no good

nin

Reply to lady nina

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